Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Riddle: How do budget cuts, DEI hires, and empty reservoirs, turn the bluest, most Democrat city Red?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If a narcissist can't feel remorse, can they ever feel regret for an evil act after going to rehab?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

I actually pay taxes

I took a video of my serve (60 FPS) and it took 0.4 seconds from my racket to the service line. How fast would you say my serve was?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t cotton to rapists

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What are some mind-blowing facts that sound unreal but are actually true?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What would it take for you to consider yourself a "Swiftie" like Flavor Flav?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What is the meaning of "ero" in Japanese?

I see through liars

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What's it like to have an IQ of 140 to 170? Do people notice you're different?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Do foreign workers face discrimination in Canada?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

In your opinion, who is the most overrated singer/band/artist in modern music history and why?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink